Have you ever had a plan,you told someone about it,they gave you their “so called honest opinion” and you never moved further with your plans?
Have you ever been so excited about an idea but didn’t follow through because you’re afraid of what your friends and family may think of you?
If one or both of the questions are in affirmation,then this post is definitely for you.
Validation is the process whereby others confirm the validity of one’s emotions.
Validation is something that confirms,attest or verifies something.
It starts from little things like a child doing a great job and looking up to his parents for praises. It could also be like making a nice braids and waiting for a compliment. I know you get the idea now.
It is totally reasonable to seek for validation. We are emotionally attached to our plans or ideas and sometimes need a different point of view to confirm if we are on the right track.
But where validation from others out weighs validation from yourself,it becomes chaotic.
When you are held back because of other people’s confirmation of your plans,it doesn’t look like a great sight now,does it?
Reason Why You May be Seeking for Validation from Others
• You take compliments to heart way too much
Don’t get me wrong,it’s okay to receive compliments,in fact,it is important to know how to receive compliments.
But where you take them to heart way too much,it means when you don’t get them,you feel you are not doing something right.
Taking a good compliment to heart too much means you’d be affected by a bad compliment (if this phrase is right)too much too.
If a person says you’re beautiful/handsome and you’re head over heels,it means that if another person says you have an ugly nose, you’re going to sulk on your bed for a while.
Why You Need to Stop Seeking Validation from Others
•You’d not be able to achieve a plan or follow through with an idea.
When we tell friends or family members our plans, seeking for confirmation if the idea makes sense,80% of the times,they are going to present you with so many reasons why your plans are worthless and sometimes in the most polite way,so you don’t feel angry or uncomfortable.
The worst part is, after they present you with all these problems to your idea,they don’t help you through the solution process so, that is why people don’t follow through with plans.
• Low Confidence and Self Esteem
When you’re in a space where you seek for validation, what people say can water down your esteem and lead to low confidence in yourself or your future plans or ideas.
Trust me, people are not very nice in the way they construe their statements, even if they are giving their honest opinion.
•Anixety and Depression
You’d feel anxious whenever you want to do anything because you’re always worried of what people would say. This anixety could lead to depression in the long run and these people who you’re afraid of their opinions or their approval,will probably not notice because THEY DON’T CARE!
•You’d Watch the Execution of Your Plans but the Executor is not You!
Some people will use your ideas after they have talked you down,since you’re not using the ideas,periodtttt.
What You Should do
Self Validation is always the key. Yes,you can tell people your plans and be open to constructive criticism but be mindful that their opinions don’t weigh yourself down. Be mindful that you’re not doing things because you want a congratulatory handshake.
Take your time,make your plans, evaluate your plans,make your research,take a leap of faith and take the risk. You’d probably learn to be better in the process.
Currently listening to Smile by Juice Wrld and The
Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments.